How to set goals in a positive way

Stopping self-sabotage your goal by simply reframing your mindset

I have decided to get rid of my “granny/bingo arms”, as I call them. Most women will know what I am talking about. Anyway, I told myself that it can’t go on like this as I don’t like photos of myself. Andrew doesn’t see what I am talking about when I am bitching about the quality of my arms. But it seems I am the lucky one here as my partner’s eyesight is not that good anymore, so he doesn’t see things as they are. He is even talking about the possibility of needing glasses soon. And when he gets his glasses, he will see very well what the issue is with my arms. So, I had better act before that happens. 

This is why I have decided to GET RID OF MY GRANNY ARMS. I even had a plan of action in mind, to which I had decided to stick. The only issue is that so far I haven’t “actioned” my action plan. I was contemplating why I am not getting myself into gear and actually do something about it. Then it hit me: I am an NLP practitioner, and it seems I am not even able to properly set goals for myself.  Can you imagine? What a fiasco. How can I get my clients to set and reach their own goals if I am failing to set my own? It is not really authentic, is it?

The “switch“

So, I had to reach back to NLP and redefine my goal.

Instead of saying: “I want to get rid of my granny (bingo) arms” I am now saying to myself:“I want to have toned arms that I can show off in a sleeveless top–even at my age.”

Do you see the difference between the two sentences? The goal is the same, but I have framed it differently–in a positive way. This is one thing NLP teaches us: how to reframe our thinking and set positive goals that we will love to move towards. 

Many of us often make the mistake of setting goals with good intentions, but with a negative mindset. And then we are puzzled why we aren’t succeeding. Why aren’t we?

Let’s change this pattern together and continuously set positive goals and observe the difference it makes. If you are not sure how to, you can always sit down with a friend or loved one to help you out. If you want to be super confident that your direction is the right one you can also discuss it with a professional. 

Negative vs. positive mindsets

Here are a few very common goals we are setting for ourselves in a negative way, and a positive alternative statement. Add yours to the list and let’s help for each other.

1. Negative: “I want to lose weight.” Positive: “I want to feel strong, healthy and confident in my body.”
2. Negative: “I want to stop procrastinating.” Positive: “I want to take action and stay focused on my tasks.”
3. Negative: “I don’t want to be broke anymore.” Positive: “I want to build financial stability and grow my wealth.”
4. Negative: “I want to quit smoking.” Positive: “I want to breathe easily and feel energized every day.”
5. Negative: “I don’t want to be stressed all the time.” Positive: “I want to feel calm, balanced and in control of my emotions.”
6. Negative: “I want to stop eating junk food.” Positive: “I want to nourish my body with healthy delicious food.”
7. Negative: “I don’t want to be lazy.” Positive: “I want to feel motivated and productive every day.”
8. Negative: “I want to stop being so negative.” Positive: “I want to focus on gratitude and see the positive in every situation.”
9. I want to stop wasting time on social media.” Positive: “I want to use my time mindfully and focus on meaningful activities.”
10. Negative: “ I don’t want to fail.” Positive: “I want to learn, grow and succeed in everything I do.”
11. Negative: “I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Positive: “I want to build meaningful connections and surround myself with supportive people.”
12. Negative: “I want to quit my job.” Positive: “I want to pursue a career that fulfills me and aligns with my passion.”

Do you see the difference in these statements? It even feels better, doesn’t it? Try it for yourself. It may take some effort to switch from a negative to a positive mindset. However, this small but profound change can make all the difference between success and stagnation. Let me know what you think!

The NLP goal-setting: How to set goals that actually work