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Réka Koszta

  • Aphrodite – the goddess of love and beauty

    By

    Réka

    Réka Koszta

    In this series, I explore the feminine archetypes through mythology, astrology, and psychology.
    Each goddess represents a different energetic pattern within the female psyche.
    In this article, we step into the world of Aphrodite — the archetype of love, sensuality, creativity, and magnetic presence.

    Greek mythology

    Aphrodite is one of the twelve Olympians, but according to the most widely accepted myth, she was born well before Zeus and his siblings. Zeus and the other Olympians were the children of Rhea and Cronos, while Aphrodite was born when Cronos castrated Uranus. This means she is far more ancient than the other Olympian gods and goddesses.

    She married Hephaestus, yet she was unfaithful to him and had many lovers. In most Greek myths, various goddesses, nymphs, and human women are constantly threatened, pursued, or violated by male gods. Aphrodite is different: no one forces her, and she is free to decide for herself. This is why she represents a “carefree” woman who is adored by everyone and able to achieve anything through her personal charm.

    Aphrodite’s Roman counterpart is Venus. There is a slight difference between the two goddesses. Venus is a creator and life-giver — beautiful and fruitful. Aphrodite, however, is often described as beautiful for her own sake.

    There are two celestial objects connected with this archetype: the planet Venus and the asteroid Aphrodite.

    Venus is the second planet from the Sun. Interestingly, it rotates in the opposite direction to most planets. It is the second-brightest object in the night sky. It is also one of the seven visible planets that ancient astronomers and astrologers could observe at the beginning of these sciences.

    Astronomers discovered Aphrodite (asteroid 1388) in 1935.

    Venus in astrology represents:

    • Beauty, femininity, flirting
    • Harmony and peace of mind — its function is always to strive for harmony
    • In a male chart, it shows the ideal female; in a female chart, it reflects the erotic side
    • Money and our relationship with money
    • Art, music, dance, poetry, and harmony of colors
    • Its house position shows where we strive for harmony
    • How we express our emotions toward the opposite sex

    Psychological expressions of the Aphrodite archetype

    While mythology gives us her story, psychology reveals how this archetype operates within the modern woman.

    The alchemical goddess — in her book Goddesses in Everywoman, Jean Shinoda Bolen places Aphrodite in a completely separate category from the other goddesses.

    “Aphrodite seeks to consummate relationships and generate new life. This archetype may be expressed through physical intercourse or through a creative process.”

    She is independent and able to focus on what is personally meaningful to her; others cannot easily divert her from her goal.

    When Aphrodite is the dominant archetype in a woman’s personality, she falls in love often and easily.

    Our culture degrades sensuality and sexuality in women. The woman who embodies Aphrodite the lover may be considered a temptress or a “whore.” Thus, this archetype, when expressed, can put a woman at odds with prevailing moral standards.

    When two people fall in love, each sees the other in a special, enhancing (Aphrodite-golden) light and is drawn to the other’s beauty. There is magic in the air — a state of enchantment or infatuation. Each feels beautiful, special, more godlike or goddess-like than in their ordinary selves. The emotional field between them becomes charged, and erotic “electricity” is generated, creating mutual magnetic attraction.

    However, when love is not returned, the experience changes dramatically. A woman may feel possessed by cruel desire and unmet longing. She is repeatedly drawn to the beloved and repeatedly rejected. The intensity — wonderful when love is mutual — now amplifies the pain instead.

    Procreative:

    Aphrodite represents the drive to ensure the continuation of the species. The archetype connected with the sex drive and the power of passion. She can turn a woman into a vessel of procreation. An Aphrodite-influenced woman may have a child out of her desire for a man or her longing for a sexual or romantic experience.

    Creativity:

    Aphrodite is a tremendous force for change. The creative product may be as abstract as the inspired union of two ideas that eventually give birth to a new theory. Creative work emerges from intense and passionate involvement — almost as if with a lover — as the artist interacts with the “other” to bring something new into being.

    Cultivating:

    Aphrodite is the archetype most connected to sensual or sensory experience. Therefore, cultivating keen perception and a present-moment focus invites Aphrodite’s energy.

    Charisma:  The Aphrodite archetype creates personal charisma — a magnetism or electricity — which, combined with physical attributes, makes a woman “an Aphrodite.”

    How the Aphrodite archetype manifests across life stages

    Childhood and early years

    As a child, the little Aphrodite may have been an innocent flirt.

    She enjoys being the center of attention, likes wearing pretty clothes. She is usually not shy she has her spontaneous performances, and attention-seeking behavior.

    By the age of eight, many Aphrodite girls are eager to grow up, dress up, and wear makeup. They develop crushes on boys. Some young Aphrodites are “nymphets” — precociously aware of their sexuality and enjoying the sense of power and attraction they feel when older men respond to their flirtation.

    Adolescence and young adulthood

    Adolescence and young adulthood are crucial periods for the Aphrodite woman. She may find herself caught between the stirrings of Aphrodite within her and the reactions of others.

    Given the double standard, a high school girl whose desire for sexual experience is as strong as that of a young man must carefully weigh the consequences.

    When an Aphrodite woman goes to college, social aspects are often more important to her than academics. She may choose a “party school” — a college known more for social life than for rigorous studies.

    She is usually not focused on long-term academic goals or career planning. Her interest in a professional path may fade when faced with difficult prerequisites that do not inspire her. However, she can immerse herself fully in her studies if she becomes fascinated with a subject — most often in a creative field involving interaction with people.

    Adulthood and Professional Life

    Work that does not engage her emotionally holds little interest for an Aphrodite woman. She prefers variety and intensity; repetitive tasks such as housework, clerical duties  bore her. She performs best when she can be creatively absorbed, she almost always prefers a job she finds interesting over one that pays better but lacks appeal.

    Aphrodite women often gravitate toward men who are not necessarily good for them. Unless other archetypes influence her, her choice of partners may resemble Aphrodite’s own lovers — creative, complex, moody, or emotional men such as Hephaestus, Ares, or Hermes.

    If Aphrodite is one of several strong archetypes — including Hera — her presence can enhance and vitalize marriage with sexuality and passion.

    However, a lifelong monogamous marriage may be difficult for an Aphrodite woman. Unless other archetypal influences help contain her within the marriage, or the partnership is especially harmonious, she may follow a pattern of serial relationships.

    Aphrodite women generally love children, and children are drawn to them. A child senses that this woman looks at them with a nonjudgmental and appreciative gaze.

    She brings out a child’s feelings and abilities in a way that makes the child feel beautiful and accepted. Often, she instills a sense of specialness that builds confidence and supports the development of talents.

    The children of Aphrodite women thrive and develop individuality — especially if Demeter qualities are also present.

    The inevitability of aging can be a devastating reality for an Aphrodite woman if her attractiveness has been her primary source of gratification.

    At midlife, she may also become dissatisfied with her choice of partners. She may recognize a pattern of attraction to unconventional or unsuitable men and begin to long for stability — something she may previously have rejected.

    However, middle age is thriving period for Aphrodite women if she produces creative work.

    Aphrodite is not merely the goddess of beauty — she is the archetype of aliveness.

    When integrated consciously, she becomes a source of creativity, magnetism, and emotional depth.

    When unconscious, she can lead to chaos, heartbreak, and instability.

    The question is not whether Aphrodite lives within us — but how consciously we choose to embody her.

  • The Poseidon [Neptune] archetype: God of the sea

    By

    Réka

    Réka Koszta

    Discover the Poseidon (Neptune) archetype in mythology, psychology, and astrology. Understand emotional depth, intuition, anger, creativity, and how suppressed emotions shape life and relationships.

    Poseidon in Greek Mythology

    After defeating the Titans, Zeus decided to divide the world among the three brothers: Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. Zeus ruled the sky, Hades the underworld, and Poseidon drew the realm of the seas.

    Mythology often portrays Poseidon as an angry, volatile god — easily offended, quick to seek revenge when disrespected, ignored, or when his authority is challenged. His rage is as unpredictable as the ocean itself.

    Water, symbolically, represents emotion, intuition, and the unconscious. Like the sea, emotions can be calm and reflective — or suddenly destructive. The ocean’s depth mirrors the parts of ourselves that remain unexplored, suppressed, or unacknowledged.

    Our patriarchal world discourages emotional expression — especially in men. This suppression intensifies the Poseidon archetype, turning emotional depth into volatility rather than wisdom.

    The Roman equivalent of Poseidon is Neptunus.

    Neptune & Poseidon in astrology

    Astronomers discovered the planet Neptune in 1846, making it unknown to ancient astrologer. It is the farthest planet from the Sun. We cannot see it with the naked eye — reinforcing its symbolism of illusion, mystery, and the unseen.

    There is also an asteroid named Poseidon (4341), discovered in 1987. When Neptune or Poseidon is prominent in a natal chart, emotional depth and intuitive sensitivity are heightened — often without clear boundaries.

    Neptune in the Natal Chart Represents:

    • Unconditional love and compassion
    • Spirituality and mysticism
    • The unconscious mind and dreams
    • Intuition and the “sixth sense”
    • Idealism, imagination, and empathy
    • Art, creativity, and musical or visual talent
    • Noble self-sacrifice — or victim mentality
    • Addiction, escapism, drugs, and alcohol

    We are lacking clarity in the area of our life where Neptune is in our natal chart. We tend to idealize, misunderstand, or escape reality in that area of life.

    The Poseidon archetype in psychology

    This archetype brings us closer to the depth and beauty of our own spirit. The Poseidon archetype is the metaphor for the man or woman who dares to dive deep into the emotional world and connect with the unknown that resides there.

    When a person—especially a man in a patriarchal context—is cut off from his Poseidon self, he may turn to alcohol or other substances in an attempt to access his emotions through pain, anger, or escape. These are only temporary visits to the emotional realm and do not allow the archetype to develop to its full potential.

    The true expression of the Poseidon archetype lies in emotional awareness and creative expression. When this archetype is consciously lived, it can produce profound artists, healers, and intuitive individuals—those who are willing to reveal their inner emotional world through art, music, or other creative forms.

    Psychological Expressions of the Poseidon Archetype

    Poseidon the King

    There is a strong desire within this archetype to become an important figure. However, Poseidon lacks the strategic thinking, emotional distance, and sustained willpower required to truly achieve and maintain power. Individuals dominated by this archetype are poor losers—much like Poseidon himself. When they lose, they react with intense emotional outbursts, driven by the feeling that the rules were unfair or unclear. This reaction mirrors those who cannot accept loss because they never fully understood the framework in which they were competing.

    The “Harpooner”

    The Poseidon archetype has a powerful sexual appetite. He is not selective when it comes to choosing sexual partners. When this archetype is expressed in an extreme form, the individual may display traits that border on psychopathic behavior—driven by impulse, emotional hunger, and a lack of boundaries.

    The Relentless Enemy

    Poseidon nurtures anger over time. His resentment does not fade easily; instead, it is stored, accumulated, and carried forward. This archetype does not forgive quickly, if at all, and the emotional charge remains alive long after the original conflict has passed.

    The Caveman Archetype

    The cave represents the source of Poseidon’s power and strength. When overwhelmed or depleted, the individual must retreat into the “cave” to reconnect with deep emotions. This withdrawal is not weakness—it is necessary for recharging, grounding, and regaining inner force through fully experiencing suppressed feelings.

    How the Poseidon Archetype Manifests Across Life Stages

    Childhood and Early Years

    A Poseidon child experiences everything with intensity. Whatever matters to him evokes strong emotional responses. When he wants something, he wants it immediately. If we fulfil his desire at once, he shows great joy; if it is delayed, the satisfaction often disappears entirely.

    He tends to be unruly and frequently receives criticism for being disorganized or not meeting external expectations. Over time, he develops the feeling that he is constantly judged for failing to behave according to standards imposed by others. Emotional overwhelm, rather than defiance, often drives this behavior.

    Adolescence and Young Adulthood

    During adolescence, hormonal changes amplify the Poseidon archetype’s emotional volatility. Sexual impulses become strong and difficult to regulate. He may pursue sexually attractive partners intensely and struggle to recognize or respect boundaries, leading to frequent conflict.

    In school, his temperament and talents are rarely appreciated in conventional settings. Even when academically capable, he often appears indifferent to performance or results. He makes decisions primarily on emotional impulses rather than rational assessment, reinforcing a sense of alienation from structured systems.

    Adulthood and Professional Life

    Poseidon doesn’t feel good in a rigid, repetitive work environments. Office or factory settings often leave him feeling disconnected, as if he is working solely for survival rather than purpose—even when outward success is achieved.

    He tends to thrive in professions connected to nature, creativity, or human emotions. However, compared to archetypes such as Zeus, he enters society at a disadvantage due to his emotional reactivity. To function socially, he often learns to suppress emotions rather than integrate them, which can lead to internal tension.

    In relationships, Poseidon often adopts a dominant role, shaped by patriarchal conditioning and emotional intensity. He is rarely compatible with career-driven women of the same age group. His sexuality expresses itself as a powerful, instinctual force. As long as the Poseidon archetype dominates unchecked, true spiritual connection with a partner remains limited. Often, he realizes too late that his partner has emotionally withdrawn.

    Fatherhood

    The experience of Poseidon as a father exists in extremes. If he was accepted as a child and found his place in the world, he can become a deeply present and nurturing parent. In the opposite case, unresolved emotional wounds may manifest as emotional or physical aggression, making him a harmful presence within the family system.

  • How to become your own change manager

    By

    Réka

    Réka Koszta

    Many of us know how well-paid change managers are in the corporate world. They guide organizations through major transitions, stay until the change is implemented, and then move on.

    But what if you could take on that role in your own life?

    This article is an invitation to start looking at change a little differently—and maybe a bit more consciously.

    I’ve written about change before, and one thing I keep coming back to is this: even when a change leads to something better, it rarely feels that way at the beginning. More often than not, we find reasons not to take the step.

    The psychology of change

    Recently, I’ve been reading a book called The Psychology of Change. The Hungarian author, a PhD psychotherapist, explores the different ways we approach change. I found her insights very valuable and wanted to share some of them with you.

    One key idea is that we, as humans, are highly sensitive to danger. When we face uncertainty, we instinctively run our own internal risk assessment.

    Here’s the interesting part:

    • When we focus on a positive outcome, we tend to undervalue the potential reward.
    • When we imagine a negative outcome, we tend to overestimate the risk.

    So in our minds, the equation often looks like this:

    • Half the reward
    • Double the risk

    Who would willingly choose change with odds like that?

    This way of thinking helped us survive in the past, but today it often works against us. It makes us resist change—even when that change could improve our lives.

    It also doesn’t matter whether the change is objectively positive or negative. The uncertainty alone increases our stress levels, and naturally, we avoid anything that brings more stress into our lives.

    Change is almost always double-sided—it carries both the possibility of gain and loss. And very often, what we get from it depends on how we approach it.

    What do we lose when fear controls us?

    Many people invest a huge amount of time and energy into maintaining the status quo. But the truth is, our environment is constantly changing. Sooner or later, we will be forced to adapt anyway.

    Wouldn’t it be better to take control earlier and shape that change for ourselves?

    Staying the same requires energy—sometimes more than changing. It also takes our focus away from the present moment. We might feel that our current situation isn’t right for us, but instead of addressing it, we compensate in other areas of our lives.

    Often, we only change when staying the same becomes more painful than changing.

    In these situations, change is driven by pressure (a push), rather than desire (a pull).

    And more often than not, the trigger for change comes from outside us.

    My own experience with change

    Looking back at a period when I “decided to change my life,” I can see that it didn’t start as a clear, confident decision. I was pushed into it.

    A senior manager began to question my work. Within a short time, I went from feeling confident in my role to doubting myself. I started overthinking, making mistakes, and questioning my abilities. At that point, I didn’t see an opportunity—I saw a problem.

    In a way, he became the driving force behind my decision to change my life.

    At first, I could only see the negatives. I felt like leaving my corporate career would mean failure. It took a lot of work on my self-confidence to start seeing the situation more objectively—and eventually, to make the change.

    Even then, I stayed longer than I should have, using the familiar excuse: “But the money is so good.”

    What I understand now is that external pressure often activates something that is already inside us. This didn’t create the desire for change—it revealed it.

    In my case, I had known for a long time that I didn’t want to commit to a 40-hour office job. I wanted more freedom—I hadn’t been ready to act on it.

    Become your own change manager

    To manage change effectively in our own lives, we need three key elements:

    • Self-confidence
    • A sense of control
    • A positive attitude

    Not perfection. Not certainty. Just these foundations.

    1. Self-confidence

    A big reason we avoid change is not the change itself—it’s the doubt about whether we can handle it.

    Since change naturally brings stress, one of the most practical ways to build self-confidence is to improve how we manage stress. The better we handle stress, the more capable we feel to navigate through change.

    2. A sense of control

    There are situations where our environment doesn’t support the change we want.

    We might tell ourselves: “Whatever happens, happens.”

    But this mindset creates the feeling that we are not in control of our lives.

    When we lose that sense of control, our inner motivation weakens. We stop seeing our role in shaping the outcome and start feeling like life is just happening to us.

    This is closely related to what psychologists call learned helplessness, a concept studied by Martin Seligman.

    The good news is that we can reverse this. By taking small, intentional actions, we begin to rebuild our sense of control—and with it, our ability to navigate change.

    3. A positive attitude

    The way we view our performance during change matters.

    Do we focus on progress and small wins?
    Or do we just try to get through it with minimal effort, hoping to avoid negative outcomes?

    The second approach often feels easier—especially when change is forced on us. But in reality, it makes everything harder.

    When we lack motivation, even small challenges feel overwhelming.

    On the other hand, when we are internally engaged, we start to notice opportunities. We become more resilient and much more aligned with success.

    A final thought

    Change is not something we can fully control or avoid.

    But we can influence how we respond to it.

    And that alone can make a significant difference in the outcome.

    Learning to approach change with a bit more awareness, a bit more trust in ourselves, and a bit more intention is, in many ways, what it means to become your own change manager.

    And like any skill, it can be developed over time.

  • How a pleasant evening turned into an unpleasant one

    By

    Réka

    Réka Koszta

    What NLP taught me about deductive thinking

    A real-life story showing how deductive thinking and emotional assumptions can derail communication — and how NLP helps break destructive thought patterns.

    How can a perfectly nice evening suddenly turn into a disastrous one?

    A few weeks ago, Andrew and I were sitting together, planning our skiing holiday. It was already November, which felt a little late to plan for February. Still, we were excited. I suggested something different this year — skiing in Japan or South Korea instead of our usual trips to Europe. The idea felt fresh, adventurous, and inspiring. We started exploring ski resorts and travel options, and for a while, the mood was great.

    Then I noticed something shift.

    Andrew became disengaged and visibly annoyed. I asked him what was wrong and gently invited him to share what was on his mind. Instead of answering, he excused himself to the bathroom. That didn’t sit well with me. I pointed out that I could sense he didn’t want to talk. Eventually, he said he’d explain tomorrow.

    There was still an entire evening ahead of us — but the atmosphere froze. I moved to the kitchen and kept myself busy. He stayed on the couch, focused on his laptop. Eventually, I said I was going to bed.

    What started as a pleasant evening of holiday planning quietly turned into emotional distance and tension.

    What went wrong?

    Was it a lack of communication? A lack of understanding?

    From my perspective, nothing had been said — so what exactly was I supposed to understand?

    Looking back, this moment is a textbook example of what NLP calls deductive thinking.

    Almost immediately, my mind jumped to conclusions. I assumed the issue was about me — a classic case of mind reading, where we believe we know what another person is thinking, usually in relation to ourselves. My thoughts spiraled quickly. Did I upset him? Did he not want to go on holiday with me? Did he just not want to say it out loud?

    This soon turned into catastrophizing — believing that the worst-case scenario is inevitable. By the time I went to sleep, I exhausted myself emotionally with problems that didn’t yet exist.

    Andrew, meanwhile, was caught in his own mental spiral.

    When the past feels like the present

    The next morning, Andrew finally explained what had happened.

    When he opened his laptop the previous evening to check flight options, he noticed an email from his company. Just seeing the sender’s address triggered memories from the past — difficult, stressful experiences that had nothing to do with the present moment. In NLP terms, an event triggered stored memories, making the past feel like it was happening now.

    He hadn’t even opened the email — yet he was already catastrophizing. He told me he felt not good enough, untrusted, and feared being called into management meetings like before. He was in prediction mode, convinced he knew what would happen next.

    Once I stepped out of my own deductive thinking spiral, clarity returned. I reassured him: even if things changed at work, we would be fine. Life would go on.

    Finally, we opened the email together.

    Ironically, neither of us fully understood it — but it was certainly not what Andrew had imagined. Suddenly, all the imagined disasters dissolved. He wasn’t failing. He wasn’t losing his job. And yes — we could still go on vacation.

    A happy ending — but an unnecessary emotional rollercoaster.

    How often do we do this to ourselves?

    How many times do we slip into deductive thinking without realizing it?

    How often do we emotionally punish ourselves for scenarios that exist only in our minds?

    The way out is simple — though not always easy: shift from emotion-driven assumptions to fact-based thinking.

    In my case, the facts were clear: I hadn’t said anything wrong. So there was no reason to assume blame.
    In Andrew’s case, the solution was to face the facts — even if they turned out to be uncomfortable. Facts are far easier to deal with than assumptions, which are often subjective, distorted, and false.

    What NLP teaches us about thinking patterns

    NLP offers practical techniques to pause, step out of emotional spirals, and engage inductive thinking — the ability to process information based on evidence rather than assumption.

    The foundations of this model were laid by Virginia Satir, who identified that our thinking styles are learned habits. The way we interpret events is not fixed — it can be unlearned and reshaped.

    We don’t control which thoughts pop into our minds.
    But we do control which thoughts we focus on — and how we process them.

    Growth begins with awareness.

    When we understand how we internalize experiences and respond to them, we gain the power to interrupt destructive patterns and choose healthier ones.

    And sometimes, that awareness is all it takes to turn a “disastrous evening” back into a meaningful connection.

    If you recognize yourself in this story — the spiraling thoughts, the assumptions, the emotional reactions that feel real but aren’t grounded in facts — know that you’re not alone. Most of us were never taught how to observe our thinking patterns, let alone how to change them.

    Coaching offers a space to slow down, step out of automatic reactions, and develop awareness around how you process situations, relationships, and challenges. With the right tools, it becomes possible to respond with clarity rather than emotion, and to make decisions from a place of intention instead of assumption.

    If you’re curious to explore this for yourself, I invite you to reach out for a conversation. Not to fix anything — but to gain perspective, clarity, and choice.

    Sometimes, all it takes is seeing the puzzle from a different angle.

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